Recently, when asked “what do you do,” I’ve begun to say that I’m an author. Previously, I’d describe my day job and either hope one of my friends would bring up that I write in my free time, or try to turn the conversation that direction so that I can talk about what I really love.
Now, when I say I’m a writer or an author, this usually is met with some variation of “wow” or “that’s cool” or “what do you write?” The last one is a bit tricky, because while I love talking about my books, talk too long and you lose them, talk too short and they won’t care. It’s a balance.
But regardless, the conversation almost 100% of the time, comes to the following phrase: “When do you have time to write?”
Usually we laugh. Five amazing kids, a full-time day job, working out every day (proven by instagram posts, obviously), and the standard friend/husband/father/housekeeper roles do make it hard to find the time. But seriously, when do I find the time?”
The truth is, many days I don’t find the time. There isn’t any time to be found. Last year I made a TikTok of waking up at 5:00am to write. Our youngest woke up at 5:06 am. If I wait to write at night, then I’m usually too exhausted to find the creative energy (see previous paragraph).
I answer this question in a few different ways. “Well, I usually write at night, or during lunch if I’m not working out. Or I’ll jot down ideas at stop lights.” Their responses vary, but it’s always an encouraging and appropriate level of being impressed. As a side note, I don’t say this to impress, it’s just the truth. I write when I have time, or I find the time somehow.
The only saving grace is that I type fast. I can hash out anywhere between 1,000 and 2,500 words an hour depending on how focused I am. That means that my goal of 500 words per day can be slacked a little as long as, at some point that week, I sit down for an hour or two and make my fingers smoke.
But seriously, what’s the secret. I wish I knew. Like many of you, there are things you do for fun, there are things you do by necessity, and all manner of things in-between. No matter what we do, no matter what we spend our time on, it’s sacrificing an investment of time into something else. If I write during lunch, then working out has to happen after work, or after bedtime. If I workout during lunch, then writing has to happen after work or bedtime. If I write during lunch and work out after work, then I’m home late and get less time with the kiddos. If I work out after bedtime, then I’m spending less time with my wife, or leaving chores/cleanup for her. She’s incredibly understanding, so it’s not a bone of contention for us, she has done the same on her nights. But I digress, you get the point. Any investment of time into one thing automatically eliminates that same investment into another thing.
The secret, I guess—and this is what made you open this email in the first place—is to understand that something is always going to take a back-burner. In a healthy relationship, sometimes that can be the relationship itself, but it can’t ALWAYS be that. Sometimes it’s the kids, and if you’re investing in them regularly, they understand. And a side effect of that is that they begin to take their own health more seriously. But my writing, many times, takes the back-burner. I’d rather invest in my wife and kids than my writing. I can write when the kids are out of the house, or on those lonely nights when my wife is out, unless I turn the xbox on (Destiny calls, you know).
So that’s about it. The secret is to stop trying to make everything a priority, because then nothing is a priority. “That’s great, Ty, but I don’t know how to do that.” Wow am I glad you said that because that’s exactly what I’m about to tell you in three not-so-easy-easy steps.
Step 1: Set Long Term Goals
This one may seem like a no-brainer, but it’s probably the best one. I have a goal of writing a book every six months. That averages to about 500 words per day, like I said earlier. But I like to have the last month to edit the manuscript twice, so really it’s like 750 words per day. That’s my goal, and if I miss a day or three, I don’t have to beat myself up about it.
Step 2: Decide what you want
This may be better as step one, but I don’t want to change stuff around and it can work after you have your long-term goals set. You can then decide what you want to accomplish. For 75 days I wanted to work out twice per day and eat healthier. I also wanted to write 750 words per day. With that in mind, I could set tangible sub-goals for my days, and work around what I was feeling and what I wanted to accomplish more that day.
Step 3: Let your friends in on it
This is probably the most important one. Man wasn’t made to be alone; we need community, and whether that community helps spurn you onward toward your goals or is simply aware of what you are doing and puts a heart on every post, you can’t be successful in anything if you don’t have support, even if it’s minor. And it doesn’t have to be family support. I don’t have any support from my family outside of my wife and kids (like my mom/siblings). So I have to be okay with that, but I have a lot of friends that know what I want and are always commenting or talking with me about my progress. It makes a huge difference knowing that I’ll have to tell them how I’m doing.
And that’s it, that’s all it takes to be successful. set your goals, decide what’s most important, and tell your friends. After that, the rest is up to you.
And listen. No, I’m serious, listen to me:
Now you have to do it.
Now you have to go meet those goals, make a 1% progression on the long-term goal every day. Then, after 100 days, you’ve met your goal. If you don’t reach your goal (and you won’t, sometimes) you just have to try again. And when you do make it, clap yourself on the back and get back to it. Because the second you stop striving toward your goal, you lose, and it makes it almost impossible to get back into the mindset of “doing”.
Now, I have to get back to writing, I’m already behind. But rest assured: if you’re striving for a goal, I am, too. We’re in this together. So comment with your goals and we can keep each other accountable. Be a part of my community, and I’ll be in your corner as much as I can.
Final Thoughts
I’ve got a website being built right now with a friend, www.tycarlsonauthor.com and I’m very excited about that launch. You can always order books straight from amazon or from my publisher’s website, www.4horsemenpublications.com. Additionally, my TikTok shop has all of my books on there, as well. I’ve got my fifth book, Eden Vertex, launching later this year. I’ve just finished the first chapter of Shinar Ellipse, book 2 of The Dominus Trilogy.
Keep me posted on your goals and their progress, and I’ll try to do the same.